Old-Wizard.com Top Ten Nerd Musicians of All Time

Top 10 Nerd Musicians of All Time

So since pretty much the beginning of time nerds and music have gone hand in hand, yet there has never been a top ten musical nerds list! WTF? There seems to be a non-explicable status jump from high school band geek to ultra-cool band dude. Is this enigma a natural cocoon cycle? Is there some hibernation period where nerds wrap up puberty while growing their hair out, learning licks, and waiting for their clothes to become chic? I think the answer is yes, but I also think these hipsters never loose their nerdiness…and this is the summer of the nerd. You have Dinosaur Jr. and seBADoh making comebacks, Weezer announcing a new album, every songwriter in the world wears cheap black plastic frames, nerdiness in music has never been more prevalent! So here’s MY list: Top Ten musical nerds. Enjoy!

#10 Dave Mustane (Megadeath)

Could have been numero uno in his hay-day, the ultimate evil genius of rock put nothing but intelligent and political rants into a genre known for being superficial.

#9 Steve Malkmus (Pavement, The Jicks)

I should begin by noting that Pavement is one of my all time favorite bands. You just picture this guy as the too-intelligent-for-his-own-good brat in the back of the class making smarmy comments to the teacher. With lyrics like “you could be my candy striper, junior leaguer, bed pan wiper, convalescent, enema-escent, I live to be gray!” you know cool was never a priority.

#8 Matt Sharp (Weezer, The Rentals)

Thought the moog died with ELP? Think again. One of two Weezers to make the list, Matt invented the emaciated lanky nerd-rock genre.

#7 John Medeski (Medeski, Martin, and Wood)

Anyone whose ever listened to this band knows the most complicated time changes and creepy noises have come forth from this guy’s hands. The nerd factor? Aside from making Jazz cool for the kids, there are NO EFFECTS on those keys. In concert he’s surrounded by a small room of keyboards and organs. By playing several of them at a time he makes supersonic love to our ears with mathematical precision.

#6 Gift of Gab (Blackalicious)

Granted, Blackalicious is a gangster-ass name for a group; but with songs like Chemical Calystenics with the lyrics “Biotch I'm only ill with buzzin’, feel the ambiance
A diabetic process oughta calm your ass
After I warm your ass, I'll give sodium silicate N-O-2-S-1-O-3, a water glass
Borax flexure full of brimstone sulfur
Boraxic acid, hip-hop preserver
C-O-2 could never put away the fire
Style aroma is scientific; the lyrical fuse would be connected
To teach you chemical calisthenics,” he made the list.

#5 Andrew Bird

The only rock star I know famous for playing the hell out of a tin whistle…

#4 Thom Yorke (Radiohead)

2+2=5 abstract mathematics? Enough said.

#3 Lou Barlow (Sebadoh, Sentridoh, Folk Implosion, Dinosaur Jr.)

Google his pic. Add it to songs like “Elixer is Zog” and “Magnet’s Coil” and you get nerd epitomized.

#2 Wayne Coyne (The Flaming Lips)

The man wrote and produced an indie flick called “Christmas on Mars” and sings epic battle songs like ”The Gash,” all the while insisting he doesn’t do drugs.

#1 Rivers Cuomo(Weezer)

Ivy leaguer who grew up on a commune quasi-separated from any normal social settings, pines over girls who play the cello, AND he went into a years long self imposed celibacy in the hopes of waiting for his one true love (who he secretly crushed on for years before marrying her). That’s love, nerd love.