As any of the music readers of Old-Wizard know, indie music is our enemy. It was listed as the worst music genre of all time on our recent list “Top 10 Worst Music Genres of all Time”. That’s some position to have over and above Mainstream Country and even the Nickelback genre! Indie music worse than Nickelback? Surely you must be joking. Not really. Both are quantifiably bad but indie music takes the prize as worst genre because of how many people think the music is good. Nickelback was saved by most people knowing they’re shit. Here then is why indie music is the worst music genre of all time.
5. The Musicians smell
Ever have to walk by one of these messy loafs? They smell like ass. They probably ate at some shithole pizza place “in the city” and haven’t showered in days. Dirty fuckers. But that’s the way its supposed to be. Ultimate freedom in smelling like ass, and if you can’t relate to their smelliness then you’re the guilty one for not understanding their stink fest which masquerades as some gesture for purity. Don’t let the stink fool you. Just because a musician smells like shit doesn’t mean they make good music. It just means they want to make good music but can’t, so decide to smell like shit instead.
4. Bad Musicianship
The musicianship in these indie bands is abominable, and some jackass producer lets them get away with it because they know it will sell well to some mentally challenged group of people who think that bad musicianship means authenticity. No it doesn’t. It means they suck ass. Because you suck ass doesn’t make you good. By liking shitty musicianship, it encourages others to think that not knowing how to play their instrument is a good thing which produces more shitty unmistakable indie rock. The only people who are listening to it are the people who are saying “HEY LISTEN TO THIS PART!”, which is probably some discordant bullshit. It’s basically people catching the bad musicianship in a song and liking it because it’s different from what’s inherently harmonious.
3. The Worst Fans
Oh lord. The fans, those indie fans. The clothing they wear. All those ripped tight ass shirts from the salvation army that have emblems from some old sports team or some saying from a charity organization that’s supposed to be funny in it ostensible “irony” (ostensible because it’s not irony. It’s just people trying to be funny and not being funny). These people ejaculate when they hear their shitty songs they think they love around other people because they know no one else knows the song but them making them feel different and therefore important. Fat bastards; get rid of your tight clothes, lose some weight and go listen to Oasis’s first album and you’ll lose your arrogance in the guise of humility.
2. Bad Songwriting
I don’t know how to go about writing on the songs from the indie genre. They’re not really songs. They’re a mess of things put together. You can list an entire bands catalog from the indie brand and they’re all bad. These bands don’t know how to write a good chorus, never get to a chorus, or if they do, it’s usually indistinguishable from anything else in the mess of a song. There is no song craft, probably because there’s a sense that song craft is something “limiting” to the much better unlimited songwriting of throwing shit together and thinking it sounds good because it was thrown together.
1. Cacophony
When the classical movement of expressionism became somewhat popular it paved the way for a style of music that focused not on tragedy, but was border line hard to listen to. Schoenberg though still operated under musical modes that required strong musicianship. He would often tell his musicians “No No. You’re playing it wrong, but it’s still not right!” If only the jackass indie rock musicianship could take this aphorism and staple it to their forehead and on their ass every minute of the day then maybe we wouldn’t have to bear the ridiculous gestures of The Pixies, which to be sure are gestures, not music. As was said before a million times in the past music articles written on Old-Wizard, difference for the sake of difference doesn’t equal quality. It just means that you suck at music and have to rely on a mode of being that is infinitely flexible.
EPIC FAIL!! You’ve bored me!!
Seriously though, gonna be funny to see the Indie fans attack.
Great list… It is not just indie music that blows- indie “anything” blows.
I repeat, Your list of top 10 most important bands since Oasis would mostly be considered Indie, you guys don’t know music much do you?
This doesn’t change the fact that Noel and Liam aren’t fit to keep track of Paul McCartney’s bodily fluids, much less lay claim as a better band.
Indie music sucks.
Its sad that people have to knock an entire genre of music. What does this article say about the state of music journalism today?
What’s with all the music lists lately?
What bands do you guys consider Indie?
Why are there never any video game articles anymore? If you like video games, chances are you’re not into indie music, you’re into heavy metal. This nerd wants video games to discuss.
Eddie, I’m into video games, and I don’t listen to heavy metal. Do you know how many people I know from Xbox LIVE who don’t listen to heavy metal? Almost everyone on my friends list and the same for people not on my friends list, but I’ve had extensive experience with.
I love video games and will admit, that Metal is my first and number 1 music love, but its not all i listen too, i just don’t like popular radio crap.
So, out of the hundreds of people I’ve encountered that’re gamers and know their music preferences, that makes one who’s really into metal.
I agree with Eddie. Go back to video games, guys.
And hurry up with the Hulk versus Thor article:P
“BERSERKR says:
July 31st, 2009 at 2:41 am
And hurry up with the Hulk versus Thor article:P”
I concur!!
Stop it with the fucking lists about music!!>=(
man isnt ZM getting very un-original now
@UP2IP2:
How does writing about music make ZM unoriginal?
Guys, a few months ago the music lists were actually a nice break from the video game lists. It made the site pretty unique. We’d get 3 video game lists a WEEK and then maybe one music list or some other random list mixed in. Now it seems like we get one only ONE list a week, and for the past 3 weeks in a row its been a music related list. Its not that I don’t like your music lists, but its definitely not what I’ve been coming to site for. Please get back to games soon.
It’s mainly my fault, ZM wanted a video game break, and I’ve been super busy so I’m behind on the list writing. Oh and we still don’t care what you think, the website is still increasing in popularity, and the next few lists will be written on whatever whim strikes us at that moment.
A comment from a friend when i asked him to peruse some of OW’s lists and comment on a few of the music ones.
“nah, this is just funny. I had a look at a bunch of the lists & they’re so full of contradictions + overstatements that they must just be trying to fuck with people.”
Indie music… at least it’s not Oasis.
You know, it’s funny.. you waste so much time worrying about how “shitty” other people’s music is.. when you’ve forgotten its all about personal preference. And if your costantly scrutinizing music, how can you enjoy it?
Also your just giving your opinion to the folks that share similar opinions.. cuz people like myself fall across this by accident, cuz we’re nerdy and like video games.. and we don’t waste our time worrying whether others like our music.. thats why its PERSONAL PREFERENCE!
So RyDezzy, if you don’t waste your time worrying whether others like your music or not, why bother complaining like a blithering idiot to defend your choice?
now?
Yep, it’s working BERSERKR. I guess you didn’t catch me mentioning it’s working for you. Now I’m going to be thrown off as I’m so used to the picture of what I assume’s you and your wife.
Ya it was me and my wife, Now its Garruk Wildspeaker, he is a planeswalker from Magic the Gathering, it could be me if i had the Helmet:P
I actually have a deck of cards from there, but they were given to me along with a bunch of other stuff. So I don’t really know how to play, nor know anyone to play MAGIC with.
Ya that’s the hard part, i only have one person to play with, you could play at a local comicshop most like if you have one. I believe you mentioned once you had an XBOX 360 correct? I’d say it would be worth it for you to purchase Magic the Gathering Duels of the Planeswalkers for it, its an XBOX Arcade title, its fun and will teach you how to play the game.
I’d have to learn the game, I think I have a full enough deck to play. A friend of my brother in-law’s looked at it and said it was a pretty good deck, and the guy who gave it to me(along with his comic collection, some WIZARD magazines, and a few trading cards) I think played.
And I do have a 360, but it’s broken and I haven’t been able to get it fixed yet. I heard good things about the game on a couple forums, and I am interested in it. Whenever I get a new one or get it fixed, I’ll definitely download the trial and try it.
Oasis is an indie Brit-Pop band with a bigger budget. They haven’t had a decent song since “Wonderwall” or freakin “Champagne Supernova”. Brrrng! It’s the 90′s calling. They want their band back.
By the way I love this site about as much as I hate Oasis. But, I definitely respect your opinions. They’re at least decently thought out, which is more than we can say for n4g.
First off, Indie’s not a genre. It just means that the band isn’t signed to a major label. Second, you should all listen to The Decemberists. They’re considered “Indie”, and happen to be fantastic. Their latest album, The Hazards of Love, happens to be pretty much the greatest Rock/Folk opera ever. And amazing live as well.
The Decemberists are the biggest pile of shit to come out of music this century
Indie’s more or less any alternative and/or rock independent label artist, and the independent thing doesn’t even factor some artists out anymore. It’s way too broad a genre to knock without losing credibility, period.
This site fucking sucks.
Hey you forgot that Indie music doesn’t produce any HITS……EVER….except for that “MAPS” shit that got kinda popular… OK! The Yeah Yeah Yeahs are pretty good but that’s it. And Holy Fuck that Bitch must smell!
Indie is not a genre. its more of a label for anything non-mainstream or unsigned to a label. wich is pointless right? Maybe people just love to listen to terrible music. Because music these days is terrible and indie is not trying to cover up terrible music with all the high tech sound perfector crap producers use these days. All artist start off indie then eventually get signed sooner or never staying indie forever.-ha
Well, at least Oasis made it somewhere… for TWO FUCKING ALBUMS. I don’t know where you people live but where I live, this is all wrong. you practically described Scott Weiland, an ex-grunger. I believe you’re thinking of ‘scene’ kids. the indie style is usally a cross between prep and emo from what I hear. You guys are pathetic cunts.
Silly child; you must’ve mistaken indie music for BrokenCYDE.
INDY MUSIC IS FUCKIN SHITE! SO SO BAD!
I HATE ALMOST EVERYTHING ABOUT IT!
WROST CUNTS.
This doesn’t change the fact that Noel and Liam aren’t fit to keep track of Paul McCartney’s bodily fluids, much less lay claim as a better band.
———————————-
That’s why McCartney said he like’s Oasis and has worked with Noel on the warchild album.
As you nerds say, epic fail.
I completely agree with you. Indie music is the worst. Usually, even if I don’t like a genre of music, I can still understand why some people may like it; not so with Indie music.
The singers are awful. They can’t hit notes, and it’s recorded with a pseudo 70s fake analog distortion that sounds awful.
The guitarists. Awful. I’ve played guitar for the last 15 years and somehow after my 2nd month of instruction when I was 9 years old I was already better than all the indie band guitarists. They’re terrible. Hey let’s play one chord for an entire song. HOW DO PEOPLE NOT GET BORED FROM THIS???
The compositions. Atrocious. Now, songs don’t have to be complex to be good. Indie music just plain fails here. Sometimes, even if everyone in a band sucks, and the recording quality sucks, at least you can say “well, that was a good song from a theoretical standpoint” but you can’t do that with indie music.
It has no redeeming features. None. At least with a band like Children of Bodom, you can say “well, the vocals are hard to listen to, but they’re phenomenal technicians and their music is well composed.” At least with Christian Aguilera you can say “well, she has great control of her voice even if she has to sing that crappy pop music.” But with indie music you can’t say any of that because no parts of it are good. None of them. The only good part of an indie song is when it’s over.
Indie Landfill.
oh look another shit student band with a RANDERMMMM name.
Thats funny, because a great indie song writer,Conor Oberst, was given the title of best song writer for 2008(along with some other years. Though he doesn’t really take it as a big compliment nor was especially proud of it, it goes to show that you’re Mainstream music/Media does see indie as good. Go listen to Jeffrey Lewis & The Junkyard. Next you should start gay bashing and become a racist bigot, because thats how ignorant you sound when I read this.
The Shins and the White Stripes would be classified as indie. I would have to say they are really good.
I fucking hate Indie. Good job OW!
Indie music sucks…. period, stupid jeans, stupid hair… bunch of fags
This is a good article. I honestly couldn’t have said it better myself. You encapsulate all my thoughts about the subject, the whole indie/scene thing that is taking off these days bores me out of my skull, “ieieiew weir soo indeee look at us with our ripped jeans from hot topic, and im so original and hipsterrrr with all my apple productss, and my guevera communist t shirt rock on ” spew
None of you know anything about music. Oasis indie? Wtf? No.
Yes, bands may start out independent but that doesnt mean once they sell 1,000,000 records they still are. Bands that are actually INDEPENDENT stay true to the diyh ethos.
Calling Conor Oburst and Indie artist is even a streach. When you are paying people to design album covers and have a guitar technician you aren’t INDIE.
Indie music is a ‘fuck you’ to all music played on the radio, it is a ‘fuck you’ to all who just want to bob your head and do the ‘stanky leg.’ Indie is a ‘fuck you’ to industrialization. Idie music is a ‘fuck you’ to profit. A ‘fuck you’ to recording studios.