Top 20 Star Wars Characters

Anyone visiting Old-Wizard.com must know that the three original Star Wars movies are some of our favorite movies of all time. Our appreciation does not always end in satisfied acquiescence though, as debate quickly occurs about what the best movie in the series is. Another debate that manifests itself in our nerdy Star Wars discussions is who our favorite characters are in the series. You’ll know if someone is a true Star Wars nerd by the fact that they immediately choose a minor character as their favorite. Wedge and Lando are typically immediate responses from the authentic Star Wars nerd. No one would be caught dead actually saying that Luke was their favorite character for fear of being ostracized from the Star Wars community. It’s as if you weren’t aware of all the discrete information in the Star Wars series by picking someone so obvious. With this in mind, we thought it important to not write just a “Top 10 Star Wars characters” list, but a “Top 20″ list so we could do justice to the not so obvious choices that are often ironically overlooked. Without further ado, here is our Star Wars list for nerds and faux-nerds alike.

20. Wicket

We meet Wicket in “Return of the Jedi” on the forest moon of Endor. Wicket is certainly one of the most lovable creatures in the Star Wars series from the first moment we see him when he is afraid of Leia trying to give him food. Leia who had been knocked off a speeder is left alone on the forest moon of Endor, only to find the moon’s indigenous species hiding in the trees. Wicket approaches her first with an arrow, making you wonder what this little creature could actually do for damage. After this bashful sequence with each other, Wicket warms up to Leia plopping himself on the branch she is on, and eats the food she is offering him. He ends up saving the rest of the rebel alliance from becoming food for the other Ewoks when he takes Leia back to their village. Wicket comes across as the leader of his specific Ewok group at times, and at other times, a clumsy novice at organization and war craft. We all remember when he tried to knock a storm trooper off his transporter with a rock tied to a rope, only to swing it in his own face! Ouch…We also remember the sonorous noise he made when trying to quietly walk around trespassed areas. These characteristics make Wicket into a remembered character in the Star Wars series and one of the most hotly purchased action figures in the Star Wars toy market. Trying to have fuzzy little creatures declare war on species 4 times their size and far more technologically advanced proved to be an ingenious paradox in Return of the Jedi, that made for laughter along with sympathy at the site of these David and Goliath scenes.

19. Wuher “The Bartender”

Wuher was “The Bartender” who worked on Tatooine who we meet when Luke and Obi-Wan look to have a couple minutes of repose in the local slimy bar. This bar was full of the worst of the planetary thugs smoking their outer space haze and drinking only the most average alcohol from Wuher. Wuher had a strong command of his bar which we see when Luke and Obi try to enter into the bar with R2D2 and C3PO. We all remember the fastidious roar of Wuher when he says “Hey! We don’t serve their kind here!”, referring to his inexorable rules of having no droids in his bar. Even the Jedi and the Jedi in training follow the rules of the supreme bartender. Wuher, also showed a blithe placidity, when he witnessed a fight between Luke and a Patron where the Patron carpingly bothered Luke by saying “I don’t like you!”, “He doesn’t like you!” “NOBODY LIKES YOU!” eventually much to the dismay and life of the patron. All this happened without any attrition to Wuher. After the fight scene, Wuher continues making drinks and the bar follows suit in their voluptuous activities. On that same day, Han kills a bounty hunter who is after him in Wuher’s bar, without the slightest disturbance in the mood of the bar. Wuher owned this bar. People would face threats argue and fight throughout the long hours of the bar’s work week. For Wuher, there was only one rule for his bar. NO DROIDS ALLOWED!

18. Chewbacca

Chewbacca is always a favorite among younger Star Wars fans. He’s not for us. Throughout the movies he’s often moaning at the smallest of perceived slights, and crying at the tasks handed to him by Han. Nonetheless, Chewbacca defines much of what Star Wars is about; A character of pure imagination with more hair than a girl from Woodstock and more personality than a late night TV show host. In other words, an always unique character that would be remembered for a long time to come. Chewbacca is always a main character throughout the Star Wars series, most of the time as the sidekick of Han Solo. While Chewbacca seems to bitch at everything that Han wants him to do, he eventually finishes his tasks set to him. Chewbacca while not being the most efficient of Star Wars creatures, makes up for his laziness in his momentary anger where he’s always willing to defend his master to the death, and even pick up the broken parts of an annoying droid, exemplifying a big inner heart to match the actual physical size of this beast. Chewbacca’s trademark roar has been parodied by everything in modern TV culture from Peter in “Family Guy”, to the late infamous “Tourettes Guy” which you can find on Youtube when in need of a laugh at the expense of others. Love him or loathe him, Star Wars would not be Star Wars without Chewbacca. For a time, he is everyone’s favorite character, until the time when one has to prove his Star Wars nerdhood by appreciating much smaller, lesser-known characters, like Wuhr the bartender.

17. Porkins “Red Six”

Porkins, also known as “Belly Runner”, and “Piggy”, was the hefty hero of A New Hope shadowing Luke and Wedge in the dogfight near the first Death Star. We only witness the brave heavyweight in a small section of A New Hope as his valence led him to stay in the battle at the Death Star even when his ship’s stabilizers were damaged and his shields were about to break. There is often speculation concerning other reasons for his Y-Wing’s failure in battle revolving around his being too heavy for the craft itself. Fat jokes aside, Porkins knew his ship couldn’t stand any more damage but stayed in the battle anyways, proving his dauntless fortitude in the face of death. Porkins is most well known to the Star Wars nerd for his persistence in battle, solidified in the dictum often mistakenly attributed to him, “Stay on target…Stay on target…”. Unfortunately, Porkins became the target of a gunner on the Death Star and was the first of the many pilots in the rebel alliance to suffer at the hands of the Empire in the final battle of A New Hope. We at Old-Wizard salute Porkins for his intrepidness and would never stereotype the quality of character of someone who is obese after witnessing Porkins in this Star Wars installment.

16. Greedo

Greedo, like Boba Fett, was a bounty hunter after Han Solo’s life who we meet for approximately 1 minute in A New Hope. So why is he in our top 20 list of Star Wars characters of all time? Is it because he looks like squalid space alien that would best serve as the worst Halloween costume on the block? No. Is it because his suction cup fingers prove once again to be an overpowering afflatus on the Star Wars maker’s parts? Wrong again. Greedo is in our list because he is the first character to make Han Solo look cool. We all remember Greedo telling Han to pay up…or else, much to Hans chagrin, and eventually to Greedo’s life as Han pulls out his blaster from underneath the table and shoots Greedo causing a state of calamity, just for a moment (remember, we’re in Wuher’s bar now where this stuff happens all the time). Greedo gives Han his first appearance as a swarthy outer space thug who would not put up with all the bounty hunters after his life. Han will eventually pay Jabba, but if you try to rush him, you’ll suffer Greedo’s fate. Much controversy would follow this scene as we see from the 1997 re-release of the film where Greedo shoots a missed shot at Han first, much to the dismay of Star Wars nerds around the world. Cries of “sell out” could be heard on Star Wars message boards across the web. The SW nerds liked their Han as he was, which means a once licentious thug who would slowly become much more affable and good natured throughout the series. Greedo was the character to start Han’s development from his abject roots.

15. Uncle Owen

Uncle Owen, or Owen Lars, which we never hear him named, was Luke’s foster father. Owen was a highly important moisture farmer on Tatooine who we meet from the beginning of episode 4 before the Empire destroys the area in hopes of finding information stored in the brave little R2 unit. Uncle Owen did not approve much of Luke’s lifestyle, from his want to see other planets, to his more simple wants of “going to the Tashi station to pick up power converters”. Of course, we know that Owen was just looking out for his wide-eyed nephew, trying to keep him from getting into too much danger with the knowledge of old Ben Kenobi around the corner and a recent outerspace war occurring just some years ago involving some of his own family. Owen was stern and efficient, having his mind on the quality of farming seasons over and above any puerile desires for galactic adventure games that may have been in his own blood. No viewers of Star Wars ever liked Uncle Owen because he reminded them of their own parent’s authority. What type of contumacy must have evolved in anyone who was stopped from picking up power converters is unquestionably certain. Luke however, needed to be raised somewhere, for sometime, in the confines of solitude and repose, so he could eventually become the Jedi he became. With this in mind, Uncle Owen has to be on the top 20 list regardless of Star Wars fans obstinacy for authority.

14. Admiral Akbar

Admiral Akbar was another impressive character only possible in the imagination of Lucas and the Star Wars creators. We first meet this heroic fish in “Return of the Jedi” as the commander of the allied forces in their fight to extirpate the almost-rebuilt Death Star. Akbar embodied the leadership qualities and spirited rhetoric of a Winston Churchill, while maintaining a uniqueness only reserved to a “fish out of the water”. Akbar is clearly most popular in the obsessive Star Wars fan circles, especially with his unforgettable quotes throughout Return of Jedi like “Our cruisers can’t repel firepower of that magnitude!” said with the type of urgency that made viewers believe that they were in the battle themselves. Akbar, while seeming overtly intense in the actual battle itself, proved to be equally placid in times before and after the battle where we witness the erudite fish in modes of absolute philosophical repose. Admiral Akbar, like many characters in the Star Wars series epitomized someone that everyone could aspire too, regardless of species and respitory systems. He would go on to have his fame augmented in subsequent novels in the Star Wars series, but more than anywhere, Akbar was first and foremost known for his quality of character shown in The Return of the Jedi. “All craft, prepare to jump into hyperspace on my mark!”

13. C-3PO

C-3PO was always conspicuously homoerotic (not that there’s anything wrong with that!). C-3PO was also excessively worrisome and carping at times. But C-3PO was more tolerably annoying, and even sometimes more welcomingly annoying, than the kind of annoying that embodied playing Dreamcast for example. Many Star Wars fans love to hate 3PO, but they often forget the intellectual and technical skill of this protocol droid who knew “over 6 million forms of communication” and served over 40 masters in all discursive tasks put to him. Even with all of 3PO’s technical proficiencies, he never boasted himself as highly important, often being heard by his masters as saying “I do not overrate my importance! I daresay I am the most humble droid I know!”. Surely, what one of us, who knew over 6 million languages, would not be overtly prideful of this exorbitant skill. Some of the more entertaining dialogues throughout Star Wars came from 3PO and R2-D2, where all we knew of what R2-D2 was saying were 3PO’s interpretations. What we gathered from the substance of their conversations was mostly R2-D2 making fun of 3P0, much to 3PO’s chagrin, as he was commonly taken back by R2-D2′s apparent impertinence. Love him or hate him, C-3PO was absolutely an essential figure throughout Star Wars, even if his character played the role of someone you would commonly be piqued by in real life. Star Wars could never limit itself to ideal characters, making Star Wars ascend beyond what’s normally understood as “ideal”. Accept that the world will be full of 3PO’s, and you’ll start to see their importance too.

12. Jabba the Hutt

What a character Jabba the Hutt was. Only in the imagination of George Lukas could something so bawdy and amorphous manifest itself. This slimy massive behemoth of Tatooine was the king of the desert, offering rich bounties to all those who wanted to make money by capturing debtors of Jabba’s. Jabba could barely move, could barely talk with out drooling, and was about as attractive as Rosie O’Donnel. Nonetheless, Jabba commanded a respect like no other, running a successful black market establishment with visiting players as cool and surreptitious as Boba Fett and Han Solo. When Jabba spoke, everyone became silent. His sonorous voice echoed over the chambers of his palace, keeping the slaves and gamblers in line, demonstrating who the real count of Tatooine was. It was quite a scene seeing Leia ineluctably chained to the tumultuous beast. It was an even more somber scene when she strangled him to death with her own fetters, making the rats and low life of the palace cry for the resurrection of their master. Jabba the Hutt is what happens when you have creator with an imagination as vast as the infinite universe. No one could dream up this type of character until it was actually seen in reality. Jabba is a testament to the perennial uniqueness of the Star Wars saga.

11. R2-D2

Unless you have been living underneath a rock for the past thirty some odd years, you have heard this voice broadcast to you by some sort of medium, and it sounds rather familiar. The beep-birk-bonk-sqwark-beep-ding is the noise that R2-D2 makes throughout his career in the Star Wars movies. R2-D2 is the most popular Droid in the Star Wars Saga. The reason being you may ask? Is it his lovable character that draws people in? His often rambunctious escapades with C-3PO? All very good guesses. But it’s probably just because he is a lucky little robot that hasn’t gotten blasted by Storm Troopers or bashed into bytes by Wookies. Give the bot some credit though. R2 has been through a lot in the series. Traveling from planet to planet on the outside of a fighter ship is taxing on the clear coat. But R2 often manages to take a lickin’ and keep on kickin’. Or should I say shockin’? It always tickles Star Wars fans when he extends his prod-device arm and shocks critters.R2 served as a good friend to C-3PO, having helped to rebuild him several times, and probably having to continually wax that golden case C-3PO sports. Even though he can be made into interpretive trash can art when he is decommissioned, R2 has saved Han Solo and the Millennium Falcon so many times that it is doubtful he would receive anything less than a full Rebel military funeral. It can be quite moving when the Wookie’s belt out the tune of “Taps” to the setting Endor sun. R2 has helped make Star Wars into what Star Wars really is…one of the greatest sci-fi movie series ever created. The spirit of R2-D2 will live long and prosper (I know, wrong franchise) far into the future because of his impact in saving the galaxy.