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5. Mike Tyson
 Most Punchout fans were extremely disappointed when Tyson was replaced by a goofy looking business man in the name of Mr.Dream as the last boss of the game. This later addition was never taken seriously and for good reason, because Punchout out was always "Mike Tyson's Punchout". The goal was to fight the real life champion, not some pansy who looked more interested in trading stocks. For those who had the original version though, you were able to fight the final boss of Mike Tyson and 99 times out of 100, lose within the first 30 seconds of the match. It is a well known fact in the classic gaming world that Tyson was one of the hardest final boss's in video game history and for good reason, he was as dominating in the real ring as he was in the video game ring. With one uppercut you were down. Get back up and be hit again with another upper cut and you might as well be prepared to fight Super Macho Man again because how nervous you would be to fight Tyson while already being knocked down twice. The key to defeating him is mastering incredibly well-timed dodges that take months and months to practice. Once you ducked and dodged his first barrage of uppercuts you could feel good that he was throwing punches that didn't automatically knock you to the ground. If you beat Tyson, you got to enjoy some sentimental praise from the Bronx law-breaker and watch the final credits as all the wimpier fighters were shown again. Mike Tyson, for being one of the most recognizable difficult final bosses of all time, needs to be high on our list.
4. King Hippo
 King Hippo was a pacific island beast who had one of the strongest punches in the Punchout. With one massive punch, little Mac was a quarter out of energy. The sight of this monster first scared the player into reconsidering the bout. What scared the player more was the fact that King Hippo was easily defending most punches that little Mac had to throw at him. Only when we learn the coveted secret of King Hippo's consistent demise in all his loss's, does he become one of the easier fighters for little Mac to face. As we remember, all it takes is one jab to the face interrupting one of King Hippos punches for him to fall to the mercy of Macs constant jabs at the viscera. If you don't learn this though, you're at the mercy of this summo looking animal, more rotund than Big Bean himself. While fearful in appearance, King Hippo is just a big loveable heavyweight as a person. In-between rounds we hear him trying to tell little Mac "I feel like eating, after I win, let's go to lunch", or we hearing him asking Mac about his own trunks stating "Do you like my new trunks? They are size XXX Large! Ha Ha Ha". Obviously, King Hippo was ok with his obesity as he knew he could still pack a powerful punch in the ring that led to his .750 record in the Major Circuit. He was one of the most memorable characters throughout Punchout's glorious history. It's a shame we couldn't see more of him beyond the one time we fought him towards the beginning of Punchout.
3. Soda Popinski
 Soda Popinski was the infamous drunk Russian who always looked and talked drunk. Nonetheless he was a powerful fighter showing the utmost seriousness during a fight. Only in-between rounds or when you were knocked down would he menacingly laugh at you like you were a fly on the wall trying to escape from a water cup you entrapped the fly in. His jabs were quick and powerful. His uppercuts were even more powerful and always well timed and difficult to predict. His face and body were beat red reflecting his perennial drinking problems. Just think, if Soda Popinski could solve all of his drinking problems, he would have become one of the most difficult fighters for little Mac to contend with (I.E. Super Macho Man as they are basically engineered as the same character). Between his incessant laughter (the same exact laughter as Gannon in Zelda 2?) and entrance theme consisting of a segment from "The Volga Boatman's Song" (Live-Long intro section), Soda Popinksi would prove to be a frightening fighter regardless of his vertigo caused by drinking habits that made him less of a stellar fighter. Among other frightening moments in a bout with Soda Popinski are his quips toward little Mac in between rounds such as "I'm going to make you feel punch drunk" and "I can't drive, so I'm going to walk all over you". At a young age, this scared the player into not wanting to fight this mammoth of a Russian. Pictures of Ivan Drago would float around your head in the memory of Apollo Creed fighting for his life at the hands of the giant Russian.  Super Macho Man appeared in both Punchout and Super Punchout. Both times he was never short of an excessive tan. He was also never short of a receding hairline that didn't keep this Hollywood brawler from posing for all the lady's and cameramen outside the ring. Take all these surplus additions to the character as a grain of salt though, because once inside the ring with Super Macho Man, you were in for the fight of your life. He was one of the most powerful fighters in both games employing an energy draining uppercut and jabs that were always hard to predict. It was his super spin punch that would make him into the most pugnacious and truculent fighters to encounter though. One hit with the super spin punch and you were almost on the ground. One hit with the haymaker version of it (usually after you knocked him down), and you were on the mat watching Super Macho Man posing like the most idolistic of Greek statues. The Haymaker was one of the more difficult moves to dodge in the game making the player develop a perfect rhythm to Super Macho Man's 360's. If you found your way out of the barrage though, you could nail him for a decent amount of punches. If you endured his valence for a round, you had to endure his self-conceit in between rounds as he would often be heard saying "My body is just so totally cool!" and "I work on my tan harder than I'll have to work on you". Hollywood pride aside, beating Super Macho Man was always difficult. It was an accomplishment and one that always took a couple of try's. He became the salient signifier for the nefarious opponents that little Mac had to fight in the series. This is what made him one of the most remembered.
1. Glass Joe
 Glass Joe is the first fighter little Mac ever has to face in Punchout. As everyone who has ever picked up a video game controller must know, Glass Joe is the worst boxer in any boxing game ever made. He has basically no defense and it takes him a minute into the round to throw a punch. He stands there and gets beat on. Sometimes he's so poor, you want to see if he could possibly beat you. But after a couple of minutes of him trying to knock you down with you doing nothing with the controller, you get tired of watching and decide to clobber him without trying. His big move is moving a couple of steps back and moving from side to side taunting little Mac, then moving towards little Mac and taking 5 seconds to throw a slow right hook. In-between rounds, we learn that Glass Joe has no desire to fight in the first place. We hear him saying "Make it quick…I want to retire!" and "Do I have time to take a nap before the fight?" At age 38, it's clear that Glass Joe goes into the ring with little hope of ever winning which is reflected by his 1-99 record. One must think to himself, "who was the one opponent that Glass Joe ever beat?" (We learn that Gabby Jay from Super Punchout has even beat him!). So why is he the greatest character in Punchout history according to Old-Wizard? We aren't exactly sure ourselves, but when we sat and thought of what the most obvious number one should be, "Glass Joe" was the first name to come out of all of our mouths. This immediate intuition guided our placement of Glass Joe at number one. Maybe we find it amazing that Glass Joe can't win even if he tries. Maybe the immediate laughter that happens to us when we think of Glass Joe puts him at the top of our list. All in all, it must be this absurdity of putting the worst fighter in video game boxing history at the top of our list that caused our intuition. For these reasons, he is always the most recognized boxer in the Punchout series.
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