What makes a worst video game of all time? Poor story lines, insane difficulty, controlling issues to the point of broken screens… all these contribute towards video games that you threw out your window in disgust of wasting 3 dollars in renting them. On this list we prudently considered what games made us break the most things, and made us ask ourselves “how the fuck was this game ever made?” There were some obvious immediate choices like “Shaq Fu” and “ET”, and there were also some more personal choices like “Fatal Fury” and “Elevator Action”. Old-Wizard brings you these top 20 worst games of all time in hopes that you never have to experience the inexorably abominable game play that we’ve had to experience in playing a game like “Three Stooges”, where what you thought would be 2 days of rented video game euphoria turned out to be hours of personal disgust, wondering how it was possible you could have rented a game so bad. However, if you are one of those people who like to play bad video games because they make you feel better about yourself and ebullient about your own small accomplishments in life, then these are the games to play. As an elementary programmer, you probably have a decent chance at creating a game better than “Muscle”, and this doesn’t feel too bad.
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Posted in Top Lists
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Tagged All, Arcade, Atari, Dreamcast, et, Gamer, Games, List, Nerd, nintendo, Sega, Time, Top, twenty, Video, Worst
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In this week’s edition of “Ask Old-Wizard” I answer a couple of questions from an outraged Sega fan (one of many), who was a little upset about our “Top 5 Worst Video Game Consoles of All Time” and several other random questions from some of our regular readers. Sorry I couldn’t answer all your questions this week, but I’m receiving so many every day, and I only have a limited amount of time to answer them. But I promise I’ll get to everyone’s eventually so keep sending them in and keep reading!
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Posted in Games, Top Lists
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Tagged Games, Gaming, Glass, Hippo, Joe, King, List, little, Mac, Out, Punch, Ten, Top, Tyson, Video
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The video game world has seen its fair share of poor systems that had no business being released in the first place. Some of these systems were created for getting something in time for a holiday. Others were carefully constructed, and failed for any number of reasons from poor games, to poor sound, to poor graphics, or to just plain bad ideas as we’ll see with the #5 entry specifically. Luckily, most of the video game world had always rebounded from its bad ideas, and created systems that were much more intuitive in the fun factor for the gamer. On this list then, we will highlight what we think are the worst systems of all time. As always, there will be those who disagree, especially with one of our entries. We expect a high amount of criticism and even some profanity from some of our choices, but we ask you to read the arguments and consider what is being said before flaming them to no end. We’re sure we’ll see a lot of your own “top 5 worst systems of all time” after this list. The systems that overlap between our lists may be cause for some agreement between us and the reader. But we’re pretty the sure the flames will be stronger. They always are.
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Posted in Games, Top Lists
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Tagged boy, Consoles, dorks, Dreamcast, Five, gamers, Games, Gaming, geeks, genesis, Nerds, Sega, Top, top 5 worst video game consoles, Video, Virtual, Worst, worst video game consoles
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The home based video game system has been the greatest signifier for what a “nerd” is. What would a nerd be without home video game systems? From the next gen systems of today, to the video game systems of yesteryear which collect dust over time only to be undusted when the urge comes to replay Zelda 1 for Nintendo. The nerd who is usually considered to be socially inept because of his insistence in staying indoors playing video games all day doesn’t hit at the deeper reasons for the nerd’s disposition. The video game system for the nerd is a place to escape the banality of what consists of much of the real world, into dungeons with 8 horned dragons spewing fireballs at them. This phenomena is not because of social ineptness, but because of a want for a world with much more variety, and much more creativity. The nerd wants to go on epic adventures every day where the world is on the line and it is up to them and their friends to save it. As they are not offered this chance in the real world, they find their solace with the advent of the home gaming system revolution. These next systems are the best that the home video game platform has had to offer. Many memorable games have been titles for these systems, and this is the most important factor for us in choosing what the best video game systems have been.
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Posted in Games, Top Lists
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Tagged Atari, Consoles, Gamecube, Gaming, Intellvision, nintendo, Playstation, Retro, Sega, Systems, Ten, Top, Video, Video Games, Xbox
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Hi everybody! It’s me, Destructo! Ask me any questions you’d like and I’ll answer them. There is no guideline for the type of questions you might ask, but if you try to stump me with something technical I’m just going to make something up a-la “ask dr. stupid” on ren & stinmpy. So let them inquizimitationaries fly!
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Super Mario, a character more recognizable than Mickey Mouse. What can we possibly say about this classic game that hasn’t already been said a thousand times before? It was one of the first, and quite possibly still the best video game out there. It went places no one else had ever been to, and for the time period the graphics were spectacular. Let’s face it, before this game came out all we had was Atari. Nintendo managed to bring us a game with sound, graphics and goombas.
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Posted in Games
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Tagged Brothers, Classic, Console, Dork, Entertainment, Game, Geek, Mario, Nerd, nintendo, review, super, System, Video
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Remember the first time you played Zelda 1 and realized that you wanted to be the green clad hero that was walking around the flat screen? Remember the first time you loved a game because you wanted to be the protagonist with all their abilities that you would never have in real life? The staff here at Old-Wizard.com remembers all of these moments as we constantly reflect on what our favorite video games are, and in this case, who are favourite video game heroes are. If this list seems retro in its choices, its not without reason, as games within the newer market fail to focus on the personal qualities embodied by one figure trying to save the world. This sense of grandeur and intrepidness led to some of the most memorable characters in the video gamer’s life. Protagonists in novels that the video gamer would read about at school would always pale in comparison to the 8-bit characters they always had full control over. The characters in a video game always had much more nobler tasks than modernity’s insistence for leveling out heroism to anyone who feels entitled to their pride. The heroes on our list were always on the most aggrandized of adventures battling only the most nefarious of antagonists. Nowhere was their repose when faced with doom on a universal level. To these dreams of large adventures and magnanimous characteristics we owe the protagonists on this list. The video game world would be nothing without them.
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Posted in Games, Top Lists
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Tagged All, castlevania, Characters, donkey, Dork, Game, Geek, heroes, kong, link, Mario, metroid, Nerd, nintendo, protagonists, Ten, Time, Top, Video, Video Games
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