Magic: The Gathering

Battle Report, June 7th, 2007

Deck 1: Tlax: Blue Artifact Deck

Deck 2: Zeromage: Necropotence Deck

Players shuffle decks and then cut each other's decks. Check bottom card to see who goes first. Zeromage has a Necropotence on the bottom, and Tlax has an echoing truth. Tlax prepares to go first as Zeromage puts a Pilfers CD into his CD player. They debate various techniques of recording game for website, followed by 5 minutes of laughter.

Tlax(Goes first): Plays an island and an Archbound Worker.

Zeromage: Draws a card. Plays a swamp, coughs nervously.

Tlax: Draws a card. Zeromage says "Good move." Tlax then plays an Island. Plays Silver Myr. Zeromage comments that he's seen that card before. Tlax says "I love it loose!!!" Attacks with Worker of Death(Archbound Worker).

Zeromage: Says "You'll like this card" and procedes to play a Swamp. Plays an Order of the Ebon Hand. Tlax claims she is hot, and Zeromage disagrees and claims it is in a fact a male depicted on the card. Argument ensues as to whether he(or she) has cleavage and if in fact it is a woman. Pendant covering cleavage is debated.

Order of the Ebon Hand: Male or Female?

Tlax: Argument settles down and Tlax plays a Seat of the Synod, a Vedaken Engineer and a Tel-Jilad Stylus. Attacks with Archbound Worker and screams "Can you take it when the bug-boy comes down on you!???"

Zeromage: Prepares to put a card down on the board, and says, "Do you remember seeing this card, perhaps you do." Plays swamp. Tlax giggles like a school girl. (Wants Zeromage to make a note that he is the one writing this battle report). Then plays a Mind Twist, but suddenly realizes that Tlax only has two cards in his hand, thus making his Mind Twist nothing more than a Hymn to Tourach for one extra mana. Much cursing by Zeromage.

Tlax: Plays a Archbound Bruiser. Holds there. Zeromage asks "You're not going to attack?" Tlax responds saying "The Emperor has something special in mind, I need only keep you from escaping." Zeromage laughs. Tlax says "I don't want to sacrifice them to your Ebon Slime."

Zeromage: Plays yet another infernal Swamp. Plays Nevinyrral's disk. Passes the crown to Tlax.

Tlax: Draws & doesn't do anything.

Both players agree to take a food and Mountain Dew break while Tlax does a cycle of laundry. They resume the game a 1/2 an hour later.

Zeromage: "Whose turn is it?"

Tlax: "Its mine"

Zeromage: "No its mine. Look at the sheet."

Tlax: "Oh yeah. But you drew a card and played an Ebon Hand."

Zeromage: "No I didn't. Look at the sheet"

Tlax: "Yeah you did. You didn't have two of those Ebon bastards out."
Zeromage: "Yes I did."

Tlax: "No man. Your Ebon Hand is multiplying."

Zeromage: "Your stupidity is multiplying"

Game effectively over as fight ensues.